Here I came opening up the drawer
Everything was intact still I look further
Dismay it went missing for the very 1st time
High and Low I kept searching
Anxious mind wondered where it had gone to
Suddenly my heart instinct strikes
It's late and birds had gone home
I seat there pondering silence
Look into the eyes I knew!
The uneasy feel that's written in the face
The voice wants to know but couldn't uetter much
Somehow she knew things would get stormy
Oh boy was she right but she had to find out
Daddy
Why is she crying ... yet her heart beaming at my lost?
Isn't she the one who took it away heartlessly?
Why are they contnuously destroying the lives of others?
Oh Dad can't something be done?
That phone call breaks the heart to twos
Having in 'name' but not the 'substance' isn't her desire
Once a dream now became a 'night-mare'
How many times did that 'cup' placed in her hands?
Oh countless times she rejects and rejects
"Is that the only way out" she whispers
Look! The ememies are plotting and beaming at her
Why are they casting lots for her decision?
You said she's stronger then she seems to be
This heart seems to be more broken then it shows
Oh Dad, please! Can't you do something?
Salvage it! If not... it's already gone
Abba... Abba...
The sword hurts more then it shows
Please, do something to it
I know that you must hear my cry
Why... Why... Why...
Oh when will I understand why?

y are you downcast, o my soul? y do you tears? the heart cry, he hears. be still, knowing that his words will never return to him void..

My Dad.. this heart seems to be so fragile.. so broken before your throne. Day and night it crys out longing for more. Words hidden, the tears speaks on her behalf, Dad strengthen this heart of mine. Draw me nearer to your heart, I pray. Let it not be troubled nor be disturb by the surrounding but trust in your unfailing love.

People asked why have I changed so much.. I know it's all because I am learning to run to your throne, dwelling in my secret place. Only there can I fully express myself and find releases from emotional feeling. Dad teach me, I am so in need of guidance and help. But I couldn't find anyone to guide me along. I am desperate, yes I am. Lord, hold my hands and lead me to walk in your ways. There's temptations around and I do not want to give in to that..

Dad you are all that I am left with.. all that I have.. walk beside you and going all the way.. hold me close.. fill the emptiness with your presence and spirit..

Daddy!

*muack* Thank you for a great service just now. Your tangible presence was felt so strongly. I am indeed blessed and touch by your ever lasting words. I remembered about what Mother Teresa's mom said.. I recalled the picture of the gal.. Lord I am willing. Come and do the works in me, I pray

These few weeks, Dad you have been speaking to me and showing me which door to open. Been so blessed by you. Every where I go, I watched or even hear.. you keeps giving me your promises and telling me that I can surely trust in your unfalling love. Daddy, I was afriad of many things.. things took place at home etc.. But whenever I spent time in your presence, I am build up by you and the Word. Only you knows the deepest part of my heart. Yes, I will trust in you for the rest of my life. Though I have never walk on water but at your word, I will! I won't be afriad to fall, as long as I know you are with me always.

23rd indeed will be a graceful blessed year ahead of me. Today I may not receive fabulous gifts from people. Today I got a sweet gift from you. One word from you indeed will transform my mind. Today I gave myself the best-est gift yet, that is to go SOT. Yes those doubts and fears were there but I don't want to keep procastinating, because I know it will be a door way to transform my life. I am looking and trusting in You Dad. Help me. I want to be focus on you Daddy.

Spenting my birthday with you has always been my wish and I am glad I can fufil the wish this year. It's so sweet to know you remembered this day with your heart. I am joyous today because you are with me by my side. Thank You Jesus, for what you have done all these years for me.

my hands into your big hands.. all the way Dad. All the way with you, my Father. Wipe away the fearful tears I will hold your heart close to mine. Time to refocus and be build up at your house. By faith and grace, I will grow to be a fine lady with your love and characters build in my life.

Dad, let's dance together in sweet graceful steps throughout this life you have given me =)

Above all, thank you. Thank you for what you have given me and those you are about to place in my hands

Love,
child

Daddy..

this few days don't know why, seem like I am feeling a little down. Nope, not sad but more quiet down inwardly. My birthday is drawing near but just don't have the urge to even wants to have a huge celebration. Beats me.. I wonder, who actually go and remember it.. No one mentions any thing about it.. nor is there any plan.. I believe I would be a little sad if cg forgets about it but I know they won't, since cgl knows about it. Well I won't be surprise if ever anyone forgets about it. Just glad that you know Sunday is my birthday =) I would be just contented to be able to dine with close ones

Since last year, there's a thin air of love around me. Seeing people around in church getting attached.. and this year I heard people are going ROM.. it really set my heart to think.. "when would it be my turn..?" I used to tell myself, don't think or even touch it when I was much younger. That's because I know and trust that my season aren't right back then, still schooling. But now I guess it's time to really pray and think about it. Not young anymore le.. I have reach the age of able to be attach and marriage. Hmm.. Daddy Daddy.. where's the prince? mm.. somehow I asked myself, am I even ready for a relationship. Ahh.. Dad, does all other children have such thoughts when they reach my age? Daddy.. how..? Valentine Day approaching and I can only eat my heart out.. =p Haiz yaya.. I am indeed growing up, Dad. Growing to be a fine loving lady =) Daddy, you would surely mould and help me to be prepared and grow in areas that I must improve (characters) yea? Somehow I wish and really wants to work towards having a better temperament, a sweet attitude and spirit.. Hm, inasmuch as I wish to, Daddy come and hold my tiny hand before the 'prince' appear before me. I believe, though it good and indeed healthy to have a relationship (so my characters can be mould and be a better person), I know being with you is the sweetest love affair I would ever wish or ask for =)

mm.. birthday wish? honestly I don't have particular one in mind. So many things to ask for.. haa Daddy this child of yours is a little greedy. Well I am glad that this Sunday I can spend it in church - something I always wish for (since it only happ every 6-7 yrs) I still remember my outmost wish, that is, to be able to dwell in your house forever =) Hm, other then able to get into SOT smoothly and getting a stable good income job to bless my parents, the very next thing would be future family I guess. If Daddy you permits, I pray my future love would be a God-fearing man, one whois heart is wholly after you. There's so many things I do not understand about a relationship (since I've nvr offically enter one b4) there's not many people whom i can go and talk about too. Daddy I pray you would guide me in this. I know it's hard for me to give my heart away.. but Dad you did swept me off my feets with your sweet love! *grin*

whatever maybe maybe.. my greatest honor is to serve you. my greatest desire is to be your loving sweet daughter and my greatest privilleage is meeting and falling in love with you =)

Dad

I Love You *hug* =)

oh God.. though there are issues aren't solving yet.. though there are things in my heart that's weighting a little heavy.. though it was quite a discouragement to know I am not the chosen one to be the next 'discipler'.. somehow I know my heart is lifted up by Your Loving Hands

Dad you saw how this young heart of mine skipped and merry around all these while, like a kid who skipped her way home with sweet melody played =) Oh Daddy daddy~ I am excited towards the things you are about to do and to receive the things that you have in store for me. Dreams and visions that were once 'dead' now are revived. What I once dare not ask and pray, am now asking and seeking. WOW there's so much joy in me to know my once dream desire is about to come to pass! I thoroughly believe and trust that this year will indeed be a year where I will dream dreams and having them coming to pass this yr 08. More prayers, more of the Word to transform my mind, more help needed to bring me to greater heights.

I just want to say that, Dad, my heart is so filled with thanksgiving and gratitude towards you and what you have done for me all these years. Coming August, we have been together for a solid good 10 years! Indeed it's a privilege to be called to your house, it's much a sweet thing to have a relationship with you. Next Sunday I am turning to be 23. come to think about it, 2+3=5 (grace) how true to say my whole life is filled with your ever lasting mercy and grace. I am standing in awe how far you have bought me to. It's so amazing. I couldn't give you promises that say I will walk with you always without falling. Step by step, overcame big mountains, underwent the small valley with you.. 10 years just passed in a blink of an eye. It seem like I just know you 2 years ago. What an amazing love you have shown me. Words couldn't express how I felt but surely you know it all. All my ups and downs, even when times I didn't go services, you are always faithful to stay by my side, guiding my every step. I remembered those days where I wasn't faithful, couldn't see your hands, still you are there for me. This heart of mine is crying out in love and gratitude towards you. Indeed its my joy to know you, my lord.

I sense it coming.. that Dad you are calling me to yourself. You wants me to be more broken towards you then ever before. Not man but your blessings to seek. Daddy I pray that this year help me to be more discipline in your word, that it will indeed dwell richly in my soul and spirit. Also help me to be a much better discipler this year, that I am able to learn and grow in your house. Transition will come but help me to remain focus on you always. Love you with a child-like heart, good nite Daddy =)

you saw how this heart of mine gets all excited when 'sot' was being mentioned yet a little discourage and fearful at the same time.. wow come to think about it, almost 10 yrs ago I dreamt of going to bible school and now indeed you have given me the opportunity to let it become a reality.

Many questions came into my mind.. doubts, fear.. God I am not a very well-spoken person. You know how I feared the subject on 'art of preaching' etc.. and to go in with potential cgl makes me feel a little inferior. God I know time is running out and I ought to make a choice very soon. I know and surely you do too, that if I go sot, my whole life would be changed from inside out. This is my desire Lord. Not only do I need but wants a complete change of my life. So many times, I am tempted to withdraw but I know you are consistently calling and guiding me back. God, I am tired of tossing around. Help me to stand firm and strong. I need you Lord!!

As long as I'm willing to open and listen, you would surely speak to me through your ever lasting Word. Today you showed me how Abram simple trust in your word about having a son of his own.. a simple faith God you counted him for righteous. People may mocked at him having a son at old age but he chose to trust in you. And you too also showed me that there's nothing you can't do. Even 5 loafs and 2 fishes, you are able to feed the 5 thousand. Indeed what's little, when it's placed at the hands of my Master, it would multiply much..

surely relatives and people may be shocked, surprised if they know about my decision in going sot. It may be a waste of time to them but I know I'm not. Daddy, I am in need of confirmation about it. I pray you would tell me it's the right season for me to go, that everything would turn out fine for me..I need the provision Lord.

Daddy, today once again, I saw that gal.. the one whom I saw in your eyes. I want to be the gal.. the one you want me to be. My heart is crying out to you, help me to walk in love and be all that you design me to be. I want to care for others because Daddy you have 1st loves me. I want to be that gal who works hard to provide my family a better living because you have been my provider all this while. Yes this gal whom I saw in the spirit is a gentle in spirit and is filled with wisdom and wise in her tongue. Daddy.. help me to walk with you in love, a child who holds her dad's hand everywhere he goes. This year one of my wish is that I want to grow to be more spiritual mature in thinking, strong and be responsible in every task entrusted to me.. inwardly a humble.. faith-believing ever relying child towards you. I want to grow to be a healthy person, from inside out. Only you have the ability to transform me. Break every curses and bandages that may be holding me God. I set my heart to wholly follow after You. I know it's risky and difficult. Help me Lord to once again, go through the calm or Stormy weather with you