so many undesirable feelings.. I know somehow the day would come.. I do not know what to do with it, God. I am so lost and every time my thought touches it, streams of sorrowful tears flows like river. I am, at the end of road. But I know, when man reaches the end, it's the beginning of God working in it..

the year is drawing to a close soon. As I look back, what a year God. Short yet so painful. Seem like many things took place in my life. People comes and goes.. leaving behind trace of hurting scars, makes me wonder what's here on earth for me to embrace..

"never will I leave you nor forsake you.." is what Daddy you promise me, you gave me your word of assurance that I will never be alone in this. I remembered, believes and have been clinging on to this promise all this while.. even though I can't feel you but I choose to believe you are with me always. No one saw me like you do. All the pains, cries unknown to many only Daddy knows it all. Tonight I have bitter-sour tears that flows from my sorrowful eyes... but.. my heart is comforted because despite of all this darkness tunnels I am in, Daddy You are here with me, You are faithful. When I turned around and found no one, You are always there at the same spot. Tonight, I saw you standing there with wide open arms.. I know I needless to say a word, You knew it all. You still welcomes me to your sweet embrace, letting me know I can trust in you, my heart is in safe hands. Thank You.. Thank You Daddy. I can't imagine how would I be if ever You aren't by my side.. you are the reason why I am here today

maybe he held my 'lil hand before
maybe he did carried me with his hands
these, I have no remembrance of

what I remember is these...

when i bowed silently in tears... He gave a petted on my head
when i couldn't utter any words... He said "it's alright.. I know it all"
when i was fearful... He cuddled me and said "I'm here"
when i couldn't walk... He carried me in His arms
when there's nothing to hold on to... He gave me His promises
when i have nothing... He gave it all to me

He's been there with me all these years
He's there when no one else is
He's faithful till the end
He is the reason why i can cry and smile at the same time
He is and will be the reason why i can stand again
He.. is why i'm able to dance gracefully in the down pour

He is.. none other then.. my magnificent God