when was the last time I spoke to you? Guess it was such a long period that I lost track of date. Everyday changes takes place..

sot started and since then, I rarely touch the bible. work has begin it's training. Tired to travel from west to the east. I guess I have been drafted away from your presence long ago. I tried to enter during cg but failed horribly. Tired was the word I felt. I even told myself that I could not go back there anymore. Anyway the cg is going to spilt into two. I am the only one from west to go north cg.. I know it doesn't make any difference to me cause I don't really intend to go anyway..

away from home.. I felt as if I am alone and needed to do everything by myself. Yes they did help sometimes, not very willingly.. still I rather do it myself. I have slowly shut down my heart towards them. No longer do I really care about them. Now both of them just quit their job. Speechless. No, If I can, I won't want to support them in any means at all. Cruel? maybe I am. I am getting tired facing them. Lonely child I am..

i never forget everyday when I knocked off, I thanked you for a good day. I know what I own at work - good understand boss and mentor.. these you have blessed me with. I may not be the top among everyone but at least I am glad I can talk to you when I can't move anymore. Far away from you... sometime my heart ache cause I don't know how to draw near to thee.. truly if i could live my life all over again, I would still choose to spend it all knowing you..

after so long, I realised he is still the one i love dearly but you and I know it's kind of impossible. Am i being silly, dad? The 3M you have blessed darlene Zach, I can't see it happening to me in near future.

what am I left with? what do I have to call my very own? who am I that you still choose to be my guiding angel.. nothing. A nobody in the eyes of man. Maybe only you truly cares and understand my inner most heartbeat..