Daddy God

How Daddy? Felt a little down, so in need to your embrace. Nope, not being emotional. Guess human do get upset over bad things sometimes.

I was upset at the change that's surrounding me. The change between my leader and I. We used to share much and I learnt lots. Not just for spiritual food alone but sharing the friendship as well. Now, due to some reason, things aren't the same. I no longer seats at the table of my leader to learn, able to followship much. Yes it upset me a bit. The relationship is going backwards, something I don't want to have. Lord, I desire a closer relationship with my leader. Able to share lives, not just touch and go kind of relationship. Just as John who was so closed to you, hearing your preaching, sharing burden and having such a close bond, this I long to own too Dad. It upset me to know others are still having the same mindset of me which is in the past when I am learning to change bit by bit right now. I don't need man's affirmation that yes I am changing. Its you I am looking at. I just need and want someone to teach and guide my way. Is it that hard Lord? I feel discourage not being the gal who used to learn much..

Dad, my heart ache when I tossed around whether to go SOT or not. You know how much I desire to go and yes I do know its' a door way to transform my life. But whenever I tried to sign up online, times and again, I closed it down.. Its not just the courage but I wonder, am I up to it? How am I suppose to go about to gain access to it? God, tears been flowing since Jan till now.. time is ticking away.. what.. should I do? To go for it and wait for a miracle or withdraw?

Daddy.. 'gel is so sad, seeing where's her stand at home, how things are at now. My heart feel so cold. Now I can really say you are all that I am left with. No one really bothers about me, all cares for themselves. They even whop up the meals without asking did I have mine. God I need a Home, I need to feel your tender loving touch again, to fill the emptiness in me. This.. sometimes overwhelmed my heart. Lord you know this family's been my love, my blood. Now that it's gone, how painful it is to me. I desire to be loved, cared for God. Won't you come and show yourself to me again? O Lord.. Lord.. I need your healing power to restore my heart back. It keeps shred-ing to pieces. Daddy... I need you..

Dad, eyes may be crying but let my heart take comfort for you are always by my side. I know because of you, I am not alone to go through this. You alone knows the deep pain and you understand the reason behind each tears. Let me rest on your chest, bring me close to your embrace tonight I ask. Let's take a stroll and gaze at the stars you have given for my eyes to see. Your song of love I will sing, keep singing till I find rest in you. Your word of assurance I will always remember, your hands I will keep holding on. Daddy.. my kin, my life, my pillar.. refuge whom I hides.. My Love, my being.. the air I breathe every day.. Dad you are that important to me. A back-bone that supports my whole body..